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The Mechanics Of Yenagoa (II)
Post Series: Mechanics of Yenagoa

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“…the Pregnancy. Ebinimi! Ebinimi! It’s like you’re not even listening to me. Where is your mind?” Blessing asked in frustration. Her question brought me back to the present and the important issue at hand.

“Look here, Blessing, I’ve told you I cannot bear this cost alone,” I said to her not sure where to fix my gaze.

“What do you mean you cannot bear this cost alone? When you were enjoying my thing, did you call other people to join you?”  She was beginning to raise her voice, but at that point, I too didn’t care who was eavesdropping on our argument.

“Oh, oh, oh, so you wan make we go dia abi? You don forget say I sabi wetin happen between you and – “

“Don’t even go there, Ebinimi, I won’t take it. You cannot take this subject and change it into something else. When bad belle people want to spoil my name, you sef they follow dem shebi? Abi you see me when I dey do anything?”

“Under my very nose Blessing, two times Saka and Brodrick catch you, yet you still get mind dey deny, abi?”

“I nor dey deny anything. Nothing happen, I don tell you tire you nor wan hear me. The man na my reverend, me I be choir mistress, we nor go get meeting again? We nor go choose song or plan how to conduct service and move the church forward again?”

“Oh, so na sing una dey sing abi? When my boys dey hear ‘ah um ah u.’ for window. That one na the latest Frank Edward song abi? Which kain chorus be that one?” I asked perplexed.

“Ebinimi, think what you want, in fact say what you want. All I know is that you are responsible for this pregnancy and you know it.”

“I don’t know that I am responsible for anything. Come to think of it, is this the kind of conversation a choir director should be having with anyone?”

“As if you are not a member of the same church. Look, Brother Ebinimi, there’s no need arguing over this issue. I’m not asking you to buy me a car or send my younger one abroad. All I’m asking from you is money to get rid of this baby before it is too late.”

“In the absence of any DNA test, I will contribute my share. Let Reverend Ebizimor bring the rest.”

“Hmmmmm,” Blessing heaved a sigh. “Ebinimi be careful what you accuse an innocent man of God of doing so you don’t attract the wrath of God oh.”

“Now he is innocent abi? Weren’t you the one that told me about Sister Agnes?”

“Please don’t quote me or bring Agnes into this matter.”

I noticed her becoming fidgety all of a sudden. She leaped from the edge of the bed where she sat and headed straight for the door with her imitation Gucci handbag in tow. It was as if my diversionary tactic had worked.

“In fact, just bring what you have; I will look for the rest money myself. After all it’s not your fault. No be me, a whole choir director and Lagos-trained beautician and makeup artist agree to open leg for common mechanic like you?”

“For your information, I’m not a common mechanic. I am a graduate of Banking and Finance with MBA in view, so watch how you talk to me.”

“Oya, Oga graduate Banker, let me have the money. That is what I came for.”

“I don’t have it right now, you can come back tomorrow,” I said in a dismissive tone to let her know I was done talking.

I watched Blessing sashay out of my room and out of the house, and into the shadow of the breaking dawn, her silhouette unrecognisable in the dark. It was what she always did whenever we spent the night together. She would usually sneak in about 10 or 11 o’clock at night when it was very dark and there was not a chance of her running into the Reverend or anyone else from the church. She didn’t like running into the other guys in the house either, so she’d cook from home and we’d lock ourselves in for good food and adult fun until it was time for her to steal away again.

Rumours or no rumours of her messing around with the Reverend, who was married and would not marry her anyway, I think I was in love with Blessing. There was no point denying it. I liked the fact that she was industrious and godly.  I liked that she was almost as tall as I was, and I stood at 5’9. I liked her cocoa butter textured skin and her flawless beauty. I liked that she was not all up in my business and controlling like my other girlfriend, Adinna in Akenfa. I also liked that she had the voice of an angel and that whenever we were alone together, she sang and twerked for me like she was in a Wizkid video. Most of all, I liked that she was Efik and an expert in making delicious edikaikong and pounded yam, and her banga soup tasted like it was made in the restaurant of a 5-star hotel.

I liked and trusted Blessing a lot, but the rather sudden announcement of a pregnancy came across to me like an entrapment. She always bragged about being a big girl and knowing how to take care of herself, with or without protection, so why now? It was like she wanted to force me into handing her money because I confided in her about the N500k Saka found wrapped neatly in a yellow and black stripped nylon bag three weeks ago. The money was inside the trunk of a broken down Peugeot 306 that had been abandoned in the workshop for months by the spoilt son of one of the Judges of the State High Court.

My immediate instinct upon the discovery was to draw the Youngman’s attention to the find, but everyone said I didn’t have to because it was possible he knew nothing about the money. Saka, Blessing and everybody who knew about the situation speculated that whoever kept the money in the car would come for it before the end of the day, but it has been weeks and no one had showed up yet. I know in their minds they have already apportioned the money, but I refuse to be a part of such madness, or should I?

Well, I might have a church in my premises, but I didn’t believe manna still dropped from the sky. Three weeks is long enough for the owner of the N500k to show up and demand their money, and if they didn’t, I had no intention of appropriating money I didn’t work for. I am handing over the money to the police once it is daylight. I can’t keep it, or should I?

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This Post Has 12 Comments
  1. He should bring the money to me, I can take it to the police. Even if it’s state CID.
    Who enjoy alone, must also bear alone.
    Nice write up. Whoever is feeling sad can read, because the story brings joy and laughter.
    Sitting by for the next episode.

  2. Guess the other people that know about the discovery of 500k, won’t let the man return it. He should have done so immediately the money is discovered and not wait for 3 weeks after.
    I can’t wait to read part two. Let’s see how the intrigue plays out.
    As usual, Afenfia is a Master of lines, welldone and happy New year.

  3. Police! Nigeria Police? They will not only collect the money, they put allegation on your head and jail you so that you will pay bail money, double chopping for them.

  4. I think the money should be divided, and that some should be given to the church in order to make it “clean”.
    Clean in the sense that when the owner is back for it, and is told that the WHOLE money has been given to church, he wouldn’t go after it. After all, why was it abandoned in a car?

    I really hope I get invited to the lunch; for I am literally just seeing this now.
    I’m a corp member here in Abuja.

  5. I’d like to believe that the money is of great importance. There is definitely something about it. Since the owner of the car is identifiable, when he comes back for the car, Ebinimi could diplomatically enquire if he has knowledge of any money in the car. However, until then, he should leave the money untouched. It could be a set up. Reporting to the appropriate authority is the best option. But due to trust issues(with the state of the country), he could employ the service of a legal practitioner to provide a record showing that he reported the found money whenever the need arises. With that, there can’t be any denial from such authority. There will be copies with all the people involved.
    It is important that he reports the found money, else he could be suspected of theft.

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