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The Mechanics Of Yenagoa (XI)
Post Series: Mechanics of Yenagoa

“See, young man. Me, I don’t like people that cannot make up their minds,” Honourable Barnabas-Treatment said in the sluggish way he spoke as if speaking fast would somehow shorten his lifespan. “First, you said you needed time to think about it, and then the next thing we hear is that you’re not doing. Now you are in my office kneeling down and squeezing face like person when dem give bitter leaf chop.”

“My leader, I’m very sorry sir. I have already explained everything to you sir. This person I told you about has sworn to do something bad to my family and me if I don’t give him the money he is demanding from me. Please sir, I need your help.” I refused to get up from the floor even after he told me he didn’t like people going down on their knees for him.

“And you don’t want me to involve the police or call some of my boys to pay this character a visit?”

I tried explaining to him why I didn’t think it was a good idea. Even if he called the commissioner of police, there was no way he and his men could protect us forever. Maybe for a few days we would feel safe, but what happens when they leave? Tiekuro didn’t seem like the kind of person that would let go that easily. I’d rather give him the money and put this whole wahala behind me.

“My leader, no be to go Lagos go carry motor come Yenagoa again? I go do am, today today sef I ready to begin go. The guy said I still owe him ₦500k. The money you said you will give me for the job is ₦500k; let me just do the job, you pay me, I pay him and I get my peace of mind back. Please, my leader.”

“This boy Ebinimi, abi wetin be your name, now you are in trouble I have turned to your leader? I don’t operate that way oh, you see me, my yes is yes and my no is no. Period.”

“Oga, I am loyal. Just try me and you go see say I go deliver and you go enjoy me.”

“Enjoy you, you be woman?” He looked at me, closed his eyes and spoke in his usual lazy manner. “Ebinimi, make you go back to your workshop. You had your chance and you blew it. It is now my turn to sleep over your request. When I’m done thinking and I will come to a decision. My PA will contact you.”

I left his office dejected. Ignoring the fifty-six missed calls on my phone, I headed straight to Reverend Ebizimor’s office for prayer and counselling. I noticed Saka and the few customers in the workshop beckoning to me, but I shunned them all. There was no way I was fixing anyone’s car when I had big issues of my own to fix. At this point, I knew I wasn’t thinking straight. I was desperate and needed help from wherever I could get it.

Honourable Aaron was the only one with the immediate capacity to rescue me from Tiekuro and his female attack dogs and if some spiritual intervention was required to bring him to that realisation, then so be it. I had paid my dues, well most of it, as far as meeting up with my financial obligations to Reverend Ebizimor and the Jerusalem International Warriors International church went, so perhaps it was time to call in some favours – seek counsel from the overseer and bring in the church to fast-track the resolution of my matter.

As I approached the Reverend’s office, I could hear voices from behind the flush door. Though muffled, I made out two distinct voices, one male and the other female, praying fervently in tongues. It wasn’t clear initially, the prayer points, but the closer I got to the door and the more I strained my ears to eavesdrop on the midmorning supplication, the refrain suddenly became quite audible.

“Die! Die! Die! Die!”

I couldn’t help wondering whose murder the man of God and whoever his prayer partner was at this time were plotting. I didn’t have to wonder too long.

“Die! Die! Die! Die oh, Ebinimi Die!” It was Blessing!

I burst into the room and received the shock of my life. My pictures where scattered on the ceramic-tiled floor of his small office. Reverend Ebizimor and Blessing, arms locked in a prayer of agreement were trampling feverishly on pictures of me at different stages of my life. There was one of me as a child; another of me in secondary school., I saw my matriculation and convocation pictures and last one where I wore my favourite navy blue grease-and-oil-stained coverall. I was standing at the entrance of Kalakala Street, eyes bulging and white teeth flashing sheepishly over something I couldn’t even remember anymore.


“Ebinimi!” Blessing froze, so too did Reverend Ebizimor. Clearly, I took them by surprise. “It is not what you think.”

“Blessing, I saw you jumping on my photo and wishing death on me.”

“Ebinimi, it isn’t how it looks. We were praying for you to die in the heart of any woman trying to take you away from me.”

“Or lead you away from the church and em…em…Christ, don’t forget to add that.” Reverend Ebizimor interjected, too embarrassed to look me in the eyes.

“Reverend, Blessing, you guys should please quit speaking to me like I’m some kind of ope.” I was in no mood to listen to their lies, so I stormed out of the office and locked myself up in my room. I took a long swig from the bottle of Red Label I always had underneath my bed for times like this when the only way out of my problems was to drink something really strong and get very drunk. I wasn’t quite there yet, but I think I was pretty close when the call came.

“Oga say make you come now now for him hotel when dey Baybridge.” It was Honourable Aaron’s PA.

Half an hour later, I was with him in his hotel room. My heart was pounding as if it was part of the drums of a marching band, and I couldn’t hide my anxiety.

“I have changed my mind about the Lagos trip. I do not think it is the right job for you.” My heart sank. “But, there’s something even more important and profitable that has just come up, and I believe you can handle it easily.” My heart lifted again. “I will give you ₦750k now and another N750k when the job is done.

Instinctively, I did the math in my head. After paying off Tiekuro, I’d still have N1m to play with. “I will do it sir. Just tell me what it is and it’s done.”

“I have confirmed the identity of the person that tried to kill me. I could tell you why he wants me dead, but that information could put you in very serious trouble. So, I would just tell you what I want you to do me. For you, it would be an opportunity to make quick money, but for me, it is revenge, sweet revenge.”

“I’m listening, my leader.”

“His name is Sir Thomas Kimikeama, and his son Waritimi Kimikeama I understand is someone you know very well.”

My jaw dropped. “Yes sir. Waritimi and I go way back.”

“Now, this is what you will do for me and for your family,” he paused. “You will plant some guns and heroine in the boot of your friend’s car. There will be an anonymous tip-off to the police and he will be arrested. Now, don’t worry about him getting into too much trouble. I’m sure his father will get him out eventually, but not before the scandal of his arrest would have embarrassed him, cut short his 2019 political ambition, and teach the wretched bastard never to try me again.”

I was tongue-tied. I didn’t know how to relate to the breaking news that a man I’d known and respected for most of my life as a leader in the state and the father of one of my closest friends could be fingered in or associated with kidnap and murder. I was confused. Could Sir Thomas Kimikeama really be the mastermind of the assassination attempt that could have taken me out?

If Barnabas-Treatment had named him the target of his revenge plot, then maybe he knew what he was talking about, in which case the stakes just got a little bit higher and it wasn’t just about the money for me anymore.

True, we had been friends for so many years, but didn’t Waritimi “Aguero” Kimikeama stab me in the back when he stole my girl Adinna away from me?

Payback is a bitch!

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This Post Has 3 Comments
  1. This Ebinimi ooo. The people following him ehn… Dem no dey this continent. …and the twists and turns continue. Looks like he’s even the one spinning the sad turn of events for himself. Issokay. Let the drama begin! But make e no die sha.

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