Love is a Lot of Things by Azeeza Adeowu

People have told several lies about love and most of these fables you were gullible enough to believe, amongst which is ‘love is pain’.

Subconsciously, you had prepared yourself for a love that has some pain, love that would fit into the definition of pain, a beautiful pain. You liked to use this oxymoron to justify the cruel things he did to you. You replayed the phrase in your mind every time he beat you and even after you found out about the other woman. The one who made him come home late sully and stench-woven from alcohol, sweat and sex while you waited on the couch to have the taste of his stale explanation, which somehow made you feel better, which somehow dried your tears, which somehow drowned the screams you had vowed to speak when he arrived.

‘What is love without pain?’ Your mother had said when you went to her home to complain.

‘No marriage is perfect, my child. You are a woman; you have to be strong and resilient,’ she had advised.

And she went on to tell you her story, her mother’s story and her grandmother’s story. How they had endured the pains that came with their marriages. Only fragile women leave marriages because of pains.

You had convinced yourself she was right. The wounds on your back were healing. The throbbing pains between your thighs would stop soon. The love bites on your face would be covered with Zaron too. At least he always came home to you; at least your name was still on the marriage certificate.

What is love without pains?

But you weren’t as resilient as your mother had hoped. You didn’t mind her lividity and stern disapproval when you announced you wanted a divorce. Now, you moan another man’s name as he touches you in places your first husband never did. You moan this beautiful love you have found so loud until it crippled the sound of your sober first husband who wants you back. He tries to brainwash you again that he deserves a second chance. Now you live a beautiful love story, although not without occasional disagreements and bickers, but a love without pain.

You realise that love isn’t pain, love isn’t. Humans are the ones who placed their insidious thorns on what love really is. Love is a lot of things, but love isn’t pain.